No Plasma TV for Hispanics – 03/13/14
We are hiding in the crawl space under a hostel and need our water. Carlito has locked himself in the bathroom at TGI Fridays and refuses to come out until the music is turned down. Jiad is filming a reality show at the Subway in Compton. Several incoming calls from people wanting a free bedroom set and plasma TV. Dr Unk entertains with some JDF calls.
Show notes:
0:05:03 Hostel in Little Italy-“I need my fucking water, man.”
0:08:14 ..Baz apologizes
0:09:14 ..Polkja calls for the water
0:15:14 Calling to sell Cuban Cohiba cigars
0:17:21 ..Fongoul puttana
0:20:33 .. Zolar tries to prank in Italian
0:30:27 Zolar prank liquor store as Anita
0:32:19 ..tries again
0:34:26 Burger King of Compton
0:36:54 Jiad pranks a guy named Fucking/Joaquin at Subway
0:39:35 ..Jiad calls back with the psychic on the line
0:40:33 A quite pleasant Subway
0:44:18 Another Subway in Compton, filming a reality TV show
0:45:43 ..we don’t want any nappy wigs and bad hair, will be providing Hitler mustaches
0:50:15 Carlito is hiding from the loud music in the bathrrom at the Compton TGI Fridays
0:52:00 ..still refusing to come out because of the loud music
0:52:41 Still waiting
0:54:06 ..wife now waiting on Carlito
0:58:29 Blackman pizza (several calls)
1:01:19 ..Dwight calls back (several more calls)
1:04:31 Albert (Zolar) crapped his pants
1:06:40 .. Baz calls back
1:08:39 .. OH MY GAWD
1:09:25 Come at me bro
1:10:06 ..Come at me bro 2
1:10:56 ..Dwight calls to say come at me bro
1:15:04 Get it out of your ass
1:16:15 ..”Are you some kind of LDS Mormon motherfucker?”
1:17:39 Incoming call from a mother fucker
1:21:43 What if I had a penis transplant?
1:26:14 Sexy honey baby calling for a bed set
1:27:17 .. Faq U
1:28:43 Indian order
1:30:11 ..Bedroom set 2
1:31:25 ..Zolar joins in
1:36:27 First call to the corporal
1:38:15 ..Bedroom set 3
1:42:02 Dr. Baz ordering stupid, filthy Indian food
1:47:11 Zolar orders a special dish
2:01:18 David Sonzwell with an order
2:01:57 ..We’re all laying down on it right now (Bedroom set 4)
2:03:25 Ordering a cake in the shape of a cow from an Indian bakery
2:05:21 Calling for an Indian sister at the Indian jewelry store
2:07:30 ..calling the bolice
2:07:58 ..Please don’t call bolice
2:08:41 ..”From where you are find my number?”
2:10:27 ..”I fuck your mother”
2:11:34 Bedroom set 5
2:12:18 ..Carlito apologizes for yelling at Baz and Ken
2:14:01 UK Michael wake up call
2:15:01 ..UK Michael wake up 2
2:15:45 ..Bedroom set 6 joins in
2:16:47 ..UK Michael has alzheimers, be assertive
2:20:23 Bedroom set 7
2:25:10 Chris the asshole is calling David in the UK
2:26:41 No plasma TV for hispanics
2:27:45 ..calling his woman back
2:30:01 ..Dwight calls again
2:31:36 ..Dr. Baz tries to mediate
2:32:22 “How can I help you handsome baby?” (Plasma TV call 2)
2:35:36 Plasma TV call 3
2:36:29 Bedroom set call 8
2:37:14 Plasma TV call 4
2:38:37 ..he calls back again
2:40:43 Plasma TV call 5
2:41:48 Plasma TV call 6 (Dwight)
2:48:21 JDF call 1
2:56:03 ..Calling back after Skype fails
3:17:41 JDF call 2
3:20:21 JDF call 3
3:41:39 JDF call 4
3:45:57 JDF call 5
Tonight we are joined by our pal Zolar along with Baz, Dwight, Turbo and Evil Artie (who is on a weed vacation in Colorado). Big Fat Card Girl is not the one to fuck with. An old man in the UK is going to give himself a heart attack.. An Indian guy actually brings his sister in front for us. Boston legalizes upskirt pictures in public, we are looking to buy used iPhones for this purpose.
Jin Stewart joins Carlito and Baz for some pranks in Puerto Rico today. Special Time Agent Garcia is having trouble tracking someone down. Carlito is complaining to the tenants council about not being allowed to drill holes in his apartment walls. Jin is trying to mick a Ferarri. International Telephone Business Machiness calls a cable tv customer with a satisfaction survey regarding another satisfaction survey. A guy selling a Honda gets pissed off at Cross for talking some GTA game shit.
A guy selling wolf hybrid pups gets into a graphically descriptive conversation with us. Carlito talks it out with a Chinese masseuse. Dwight shoots the shit with a guy about his soon to be ex-wife. We don’t have much luck selling tickets in China. Carlito leaves a vulgar message for the mayor of Sidney, Australia. Evil Artie ate a ton of McDonald’s today. Baz wants fresh milk for his paneer, the Indian restaurant guy gets really pissed about it. UK wake-up calls with Brent Westwood round out the night.
Carlito is joined by LTM, RBCP, Baz, Tabachi and Turbo Machine. We get to the bottom of the story behind the Fraternal Order of Eagles. Big Ralph got a senior haircut, we callto let him know a bald spot was shaved into the back of his head. A horse is in urgent need of a blood transfusion, we are looking for a donor horse. We want to segregate the cupcakes in the box. Watching “CNN” while calling local businesses.
Carlito is ordering a huge insulting banner to motivate Artie. United Business Telephone Machines is connecting random businesses on a conference call. We call some hotels in Dubai. Turbo and Carlito are interested in a stained couch. The guys are getting together in Pigeon Forge for one last gay romp.
Having fun pissing off professional services in Thailand and bringing up the King again. Carlito claims a South African hotel attendant wanted to racially profile him – including measuring the width of his nose. There’s a few hunderd thousand dollars being wagered on wether or not an elephant can put its trunk up its ass. Goats.
Some guy confuses Carlito for his working buddy and is convinced he has stage 4 cancer. Vagina Jones is connecting random businesses together on the line in Malaysia. We are testing to see how angry Indians in New Zealand can get.
A lady places an ad looking for free clothes, we break into a house and call her to offer the clothes in the garage. Carlito is presuming a tacky Tom Ford tie he got for Christmas was bought at TJ Maxx and he insists on swapping it out without taking it to the service desk first. Cross upsets a church lady, orders a sandwich for the pastor and burritos for everyone else. Calling feminist book stores and asking them to search for sexist book titles. We’re looking for electronic cigarette liquid flavors that make you really horny.
Happy holidays from Madhouse Radio! Cross makes enemies out of the Butterball turkey help line. Financial advisors are bullshit. Carlito commands a Greek restaurant to speak English in America and change the name of their menu items. Flirting with the girl at the office supply store doesn’t go to well. Carlito proofreads a poorly written classified ad. Looking to buy homemade mulch with termites to infest my ex-wife’s house with. Dr. Baz the evil scientist is back from the tree on Dagobah. A spiritual emergency regarding an apparation of Saints Frances and Clare and Jesus attacking and raping the devil in a church.
The focus is on Planet Fitness when we expose that their lunk alarm is actually rung when colored people enter the gym. The asshole kid at the tire place can’t tell us how many tires we need to burn an old oak tree down. Carlito needs fresh Somali blood to make his garden grow. I’m not sure what you mean by ‘apply’ for work. You can be a bad husband and make your wife clean and cook after working in the office all day. Baz pees and is later told he can’t stick his hands in his pants at the gym.
Cross wants to seance and masturbate in the hotel room where Jani Lane from the band Warrant commited suicide in. A pastor starts praying for Carlito to stop prank calling and change his ways. Carlito wants to perform science experiments on a horse for sale. The King of Thailand is still an asshole. A Vietnamese embassy gets very pissed off at us. We can’t get a straight answer about slavery during Australia’s history.
Jiad and the Phonelarkers wrap up 24 hours of prank calls during the Thanksgiving 2013 Prankathon.
