R.I.P. B.I.G. – 6/24/14

notoriousCarlito calls several more businesses wanting to bring a baseball bat with him. Puff Daddy shoots his gun in the air while Rick Ross destroys our rental car. Carlito tries to take a life insurnce policy out on a car mechanic just in case his car explodes while the gas tank is dropped. An angry black hotel clerk goes off on Carlito.

Show Notes:

0:00:36 Speaking latin to the latin school goes nowhere
0:01:28 Wanting to bring a baseball bat into a showroom
0:03:49 Calling the dog food company with concerns
0:11:55 Making weird noises with the camera store people
0:14:26 Hey boy how you doing?
0:14:46 Talking shit to the legal secretary
0:17:39 Checking how strong the sneeze-guard glass at the Subway is
0:18:55 How you doing Big Fat Katie?
0:20:10 Is the doctor fornicating today?
0:20:36 Talking to the office receptionist after having a threesome with two of the lawyers
0:25:16 Hung up after complaining about the long silence
0:26:30 ..calling back their other line
0:32:06 Stupid dogs and shit
0:34:21 ..connecting a bahnchod on the line on behalf of the guy at Stupid Dogs
0:35:36 Ordering some heat
0:37:12 What’s your name brah?
0:38:00 Iced coffee warnings at McDonalds
0:39:49 Trying to board an American Agressive Pitbull
0:44:54 Red Robin complaint
0:49:23 Historical society
0:51:41 Meep meep
0:52:01 Big Amber hangs up quick
0:52:16 trying Amber again, bringing a baseball bat to look at furniture
0:59:23 Leon calling Men’s Wearhouse looking for Labia design tuxedos
0:59:23 ..Calling the Longhorn Steakhouse next door
1:03:53 Asking for pheromone spray to be added to Chipotle food
1:05:15 Ordering one wood
1:09:46 The Sears Automotive Insurance Saga Part 1
1:13:02 ..connecting the insurance agency to take out a policy to drop the tank
1:17:26 ..calling automotive back to set up the insurance policy
1:20:35 Question about catering and a flaming illuminati display
1:25:48 Animal hopsital
1:27:27 Printing a newspaper slandering a waitress
1:28:42 Sears Automotive Insurance Saga Part 2
1:32:57 ..connecting the Automotive guy again
1:34:18 Got punched in the face and broke all teeth
1:41:39 The pastor said he was going to destroy us
1:43:43 Do you cover train machines? Orthodontist comes back from long hold
1:45:02 Calling back the travel agent who hung up
1:46:09 No baseball bats at the Subway
1:47:16 Ordering one everything
1:51:22 Looking for my grandfather (2 calls)
1:53:02 Grocery store drama
1:56:46 Another McDonalds iced coffee warning call
1:58:34 Whats the best battery to break a car window with
1:59:20 Shipping 42 lbs of batteries and having the delivery man through it through the window
2:02:24 No hot dogs on the warmer
2:03:12 Causing a soccer riot
2:06:55 Calling Beef Bowl back about toilet problems
2:11:40 Checking back in on the grocery drama
2:13:05 Trying to get some coffee hand delivered to the hotel
2:14:43 The Illuminati calling to extend an invitation
2:15:49 Orson Welles Jr lost his wedding ring in the car wash vacuum cleaner
2:18:28 Getting details on the partitions in the bathrooms
2:23:19 Another bathroom floor plan call
2:25:31 How fast is the curry?
2:26:00 Needing pilated to strengthen the bowel core
2:28:26 Indian market
2:30:40 Making an order while eating
2:32:40 Starting more grocery store drama
2:34:19 Bringing a baseball bat to look at cameras at Best Buy
2:34:19 Trying to order one gasoline
2:37:05 Wanting to see aquatic animal sexual organs
2:39:33 A very angry black woman appears while calling a hotel about sexual organs and colored people (3 calls)
2:48:58 Fuckers!
2:54:16 Rick Ross took a baseball bat to Carlito’s rental car
2:58:45 Effeminate coffee man
2:59:46 Adobo
3:00:38 Making wax
3:01:45 The price of one beers
3:03:10 White people cracker clothing
3:05:08 Just getting my hair washed
3:06:14 Getting invitations that don’t look like crap
3:07:36 Took a baseball bat to the backroom of the shoe store
3:09:33 Anthony in the toilet
3:10:33 Call goes nowhere
3:10:53 Looking for the smallest cell phone possible to sneak into a prison with a condom
3:12:48 No Davidoffs
3:16:43 Getting cranberry and feces out of a white suit
3:18:10 Is this a black people barber shop?
3:20:21 Translating random noises
3:21:09 What juice is good for bowel movements?
3:23:15 Is this white people clothing?
3:24:37 Ordering concha
3:25:41 Ordering one pizza machine with five spaces
3:27:03 Another cigar machine call
3:29:06 How many spaces of salt air
3:31:37 Looking for Carl Sanders in the library (2) calls)
3:32:58 Checking on the paper machine
3:34:19 One final creepy call

Music in this show: A tribute to the Notorious B.I.G. including the albums Ready to Die and Life after Death.

Filed Under: 2014Podcast

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