Hey It’s Me Again – 5/20/2015
Carlito has all of his nurse papers, wants to know if he gets to use any latex on the job. A tense argument erupts when Carlito calls a hiring manager a Mother Bitch. Carlito wants to know if there are really “dark-dark” black people working at a company. Bill gets a job offer and is creeping on a new office manager on the phone before he even starts his first day on the job. Cross is looking for new truck driving work but is pleading the fifth as to why he just got fired off his previous driving job. Brain synapse problems get in the way of talking to a prospective employer.
Rex is calling ahead looking for chains and bricks while on his way to Waco, TX after the big biker gang fight. Shitting and pissing on the phone while trying to buy stuff. Carlito breaker-checks a gas station then has all dairy sales cancelled due to power loss. Ordering some flamingo for pick up. A confused Japanese tourist is forced to come down to the hotel front desk. Mina is taking an intimate hotel guest survey. Llama is offending a black man selling a pit bull while Baz is offending an Indian man while ordering bahnchod. Guests: Dwight, Neon, Llama & Baz.
The Harlem Globetrotters are cheaters and Carlito is complaining about it. Help Wanted calls including: Carlito has a thing for breaking into cars just to sniff the seats. Eddie Croff was caught masturbating at work and is calling to check on his suspension. Eddie Crawl is seriously peeing on the phone. Eddie Craw is looking for CLEAN mobile home windows. Guests are Matt & DS.
Four orchestra players were arrested for looking into a women’s restroom during a concert. Carlito is calling hotels in foreign countries asking if they have beds, water & air. Looking for massage parlours in muslim Malaysia. Guests are Neon, Dwight, Baz & Tedwwweb.
We call Planet Fitnesses to test out their lunk alarms and survey their members with rude questions. Carlito orders cold ice cream off the online menu. Jack Masterson is trying to get curbside room service. Carlito and Dwight speak to yet another angry bahnchod – this one calls us cowards. An Australian hotel clerk says Carlito can pork his wife. Harassing a couple about their goats for sale. An aspiring redneck rapper gets a GHF phone virus. Dirty Aaron is looking to buy a dog, shares an awkward real-life story & gets Lenny’d.
Carlito upsets a state worker and challenges him to a punching and kicking fight at the Wal*Mart. Trying to get some spectator action at the local dance studio. Ordering cabinets that plug in to the wall in order to make go. Calling on job offers and making people feel really awkward in the process. Getting a manager upset with inappropriate responses to a medical survey.
Carlito is busy calling to buy rabbits and trying to get a guy to perform anilingus on his lady. Oil! Carlito is following up on a report of consensual sex in the loan department office as well as notifying an applicant of their approval in a grand fashion. Warning UK wankers before their water turns brackish. Calling businesses in Guam being rude, placing orders and looking for canned ham. We’re sorry Miss Jackson. Guests are JagTV, Baz, Neon, Dwight, RBCP, Darkstranger, Laugh Track Matt & Zax.
Carlito calls a loan applicant and announces her approval in grand style!
Milkman is looking for a good deal on a guitar and the white devil is selling some hay. A JPL engineer has installed ejection seats in a car. We upset men over Honda ATV parts and Great Clips customer surveys. Mr. McGay makes an appearance. Zappos calls and UK wankers wrap up the night.
Carlito has Milkman do a few calls including a Dodge truck and an Indiana guitar for sale. Bill’s dad learns about his son’s sex tape. We call back a guy Dwight pranked earlier in the week – discover that he is the Russian Lenny. RBCP announces his new prank clock located at 
