Author Archive for carlito

No Free Grand Slam for Jack

Jack Masterson wakes up too late and is denied a free Grand Slam from Denny’s.

Bruno Anthology

Bruno, the front desk attendant at a hotel in Paris, takes offense to being called a monkey.

Japanese Pizza Order

A guy taking orders at a pizza restaurant in Japan will say just about anything…

Homa-sexual Hotel Iran

Carlito argues with a historically anti-semetic/anti-American hotel in Tehran, Iran.

The Man Pants

Valente goes up the female corporate ladder while issuing complaints about his steak.

In Every Hole

Carlito loses his debit card. We have fun ordering pizza from a gullible japanese gentleman who will repeat anything he is told. A slow Iranian curses every single hole on Carlito’s sister. Valente makes very inappropriate statements over the phone.

A-hole

Valente is calling in an issue with his ham radio machine. A construction company is interfering with Valente’s yellow Nextels. Gordon Brown is losing the Puerto Rican vote. We blame restaurant staff for a stolen wallet.

The White Boy Show

White Boy Chris goes nuts hitting buttons on the phone, then keeps saying um. Carlito’s son left the house drunk and angry after a restaurant wouldn’t pick up the phone, we’re holding them responsible if he gets in an accident.

I’m Not Looking For Your Charity

Carlito has burnt the chicken. Athena comes at him with a rolling pin. Afterwards he invents a recipe for faux gravy. The chicken place is responsible for Carito having put foil in the microwave. Jack Masterson missed out on his free Grand Slam at Denny’s.

What’s Not Black About Louis Armstrong?

We call a diner in the Chezch Republic, then complain about codes that an escort slipped to us. Jack Masterson doesn’t want to hear white people jazz. AN OCD sufferer needs to order his chicken pieces in mulitples of 4. Erik Verducci joins us for some pranks.

The Malaka Show

Enjoy a repost of the Malaka Show, an episode of Madhouse Live recorded in January. We make several hilarious calls to Greek businesses in the USA and the old country throughout the evening.

Chinga Tu Madre Pendejo

We go nuts on Craigslist, send several wreckers to pick up a wrecked car at the same time. A casino manager has stolen our iPhone machine. Valente finds a condom in his chicken dinner. Carlito wants to open a serpentarium in Ireland.

You’re a Fraud!

Madhouse Radio’s New Year’s Day 2010 show and our first time on Cacti Radio. Milkman is not allowed to laugh anymore. Carlito is walking to the Homa Hotel from Turkey. Valente is a fraud. We have exactly $50 to spend at the liquor store.

1 Room, 1 Bed, 2 Men

Carlito is on the air on the day after Christmas 2009. We harass our friends at the Iranian hotel, report a blockage on the Passage to India and wish peace and love on the world. Milkman is upset he wasn’t informed there was a show today.

The Rivers in Volgergrad are Cold in the Spring

Carlito discusses Avatar and Clark Griswolds rant on Christmas Vacation. The ladies at the liquor store call Carlito a pendejo. Tuck finally gets DSL. Carlito’s wallet is stolen by a Malasyian man in Chicago, we call Malaysia to file a complaint.

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