Author Archive for carlito

All You Can Eat FRENCH FRIES!

Indians are getting all upset at Carlito again. Jack Masterson returns and he becomes demonically posessed when he is refused a garbage bag filled with FRENCH FRIES. Carlito wants to take suggestive photos at Ikea before purchasing an iPhone machine. More of them crazy UK wake up calls.

Pray to the Dragon

A lawyer gets involved when Jose threatens to charge a daily $50 late fee on photos that haven’t been paid for. Carlito explains how the martial arts teaches students to pray to the dragon and the devil for magical powers. We are calling the UK and Scotland to say hi. An Xbox gamer gets upset when accused of piracy.

Milkman is not Black

Calls to Indian restaurants go nowhere. A Chicago drug dealer is going to fuck Carlito up. Ted is ordering Italian food from 7-11. It is British custom to genuflect for the King and offer your naked bottom to him if he wishes.

Madhouse Meatspin Radio

We catch up with the Angry Asiatic Black Men again…for almost an hour. We also catch up with Romeo from the Macaroni Grill. Carlito had his phone number stolen from him. The National Train Administration is invoking imminent domain in the UK to build a new high speed train.

High Risk Delivery

Things get ugly when Carlito informs a lady that she will have to pay a $30 deposit on her high risk pizza delivery.

I’m With The Pizza

RBCP social engineers some data and Carlito pranks people waiting on pizza deliveries. In the process we shock customer with the introduction of hotel fees, high risk delivery deposits and requests for insurance information. Some Olympics related UK wake up calls.

Madhouse Christmas Show 2011

Carlito gives his condolences to a North Korean embassy over the death of Kim Jong Il. Evil Artie almost kills a girl. Jin makes angry calls to an elevator company, a girl selling a blender and people in the UK. We call a new McDonald’s employee and ask her for her bra size for a uniform fitting. And the worst Christmas caroling you’ve ever heard.

Turks F*ck Greeks

Carlito touches base with the Turkish Horse again. Evil Artie makes a racist call to a Popeyes. Silly calls to the infomercial lines.

The Aberdeen Wind Advisory Administration

Jin gets the owner of a Turkish restaurant angry. Jack Masterson wants anonymous gay sex in the gym sauna. Carlito’s horse won’t perform after Australian kids threw apples at it. We are shutting down the streets of Aberdeen due to strong winds.

Return of the Horse – Thanksgiving 2011

We track down Earnie from the last horse show. Valente is flying a mobile home with awnings for wings into West Germany. We speak silly nonsense to China.

I’m Reticent To Answer

A guy at a restaurant hesitates to answer private information about the business as Carlito and his legal team are preparing a law suit.

Faster Than AIDS

Jin Stewart returns to Madhouse after a long sabbatical. Carlito demands legal information from a restaurant for his lawsuit. We badger Indians and Greeks with curse words. Carlito pranks the Soviet Union.

Panty Soup

Joe didn’t inform Carlito that there was a Thursday night NFL game. Customers should treat the manager with respect. Father McQuarters is waking up the UK for an emergency prayer. Carlito wants a panty soup.

I Drive An Audi

Things get heated when Roy starts kicking an Audi after an argument with his wife.

Honoruru Inn #5

Honoruru Charlie decides to teach Carlito some new Chinese curses.

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