Do Not Cross Any Wires! – 9/24/13


Carlito is in an elevator shaft again, this time he is crossing wires to make it go. Upside-down faxes are ruining Carlito’s day. We call back the nun from last week, this time we are shoving bananas up asses. Matt is calling about shoving pecans up asses as well. Ordering funeral flower arrangements for living persons is the new thing.

Show Notes:

8:27 – Carlito likes to smell bus seats and break sandwich cookies on metal bus stop seats before eating them.

11:42 – Matt calling Jessie’s restaurant for Mr. Ventura
…12:41 – Carlito calls back, is told it doesn’t matter if this is a female owned restaurant.

14:48 – Matt calling Steel Magnolia restaurant for whale meat.

16:58 – King’s grill, Carlito explains to the waitress that he would kick Jesus’s ass if he came back.
… 18:14 – Matt calls back, waitress tells him to fuck himself.

19:08 – Carlito talks down to the woman who answers the phone at the law office, complains about upside-down faxes.
… 21:12 – Carlito connects a computer repair place to complain more about the upside-down faxes and fires everbody
… 22:06 – Carlito calls back once he figures out the fax machine problem machine.

29:03 – Calling to talk to the lady at the Big & Tall store.
… 31:13 – Calling a different Big & Tall store whilst stuffing his face with food.

37:40 – A new elevator call, this time Carlito is in the elevator shaft crossing wires trying to make it go.
… 44:20 – Carlito calls back and fixes the elevator on his own.

48:27 – Matt calls about pecan anal beads.

50:45 – Carlito wants to wipe his ass with the local paper, but the lady there can’t get over being called Big Girl.

52:23 – Big Marie checks for pecans at the Dollar Store.

54:24 – The big fat bastard at the BBQ place.

56:59 – Voicemail from the lost ring prank from 2 weeks ago

59:40 – Why you call so much?

1:05:11 – Mussels are the Kmart Clam.

1:12:28 – Calling the nun back from last week, this time we are shoving bananas up Matt’s ass.

1:17:52 – AAfordable plumbing

1:22:10 – Matt calling to order a mysterious space plant, then Carlito reveals he has him tied up and makes him watch him do sexual dances while shaving plums.

1:24:50 – Sending funeral flowers to a cheating wife.
…1:25:51 – Carlito calls back to complain to the boss.

1:30:27 – Stupid call about fasteners.


Filed Under: 2013Podcast

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