Category: 2015

Does It Get Your Pecker Hard? 6/12/2015


Carlito and Brent are looking for help grinding a garbage bag full of coffee beans at a grocery store. Dwight joins in as we are looking to buy an ambiguous car part. Brad and Carlito call to collect on the dirty pics they’ve been promised for securing a shoe order. A lady has prayed to God and decided to home school her kids, we call her to buy school books. We call and bother members of a curling club.

Raw Pork Steaks – 6/7/2015

pilot-showerPranking corporate ethics hotlines. Calling random people and playing civil defense warnings. Trying to convince a man to replace his car wheel with a triangle. Calling truck stops to check on the Sunday night glory hole action, Mistress Morgan follows up acting as a suspicious wife. Guests are: Dwight, Mistress Morghan, LLama, Baz, GreenB & Pearlman Oneal.

You’re Fruity – 5/30/2015

diet-coke-planePlanet Fitness workers are accused of mishandling a harassing phone call.  Remembering Zolar and KDK moments from the PCU days.  Carlito is going to kill a billy goat as soon as he buys it.  Bothering a woman who is claiming discrimination against United Airlines for their refusal to sell her an unopened can of Diet Coke on her flight.  Hawaii Howard gets into an argument with everyone over his room for rent.  Guests are Nashby, Baz, Dwight, Neon, Evil Artie, Mistress Morgan & Gordo.

I Have AIDS – 5/25/2015


Jin Stewart joins Carlito and Milkman for some prank calls. We want boobs and craps at the Hustler casino. Lots of pissed off Indian restaurants. Jin is calling from the Food Network with a restaurant review. A man denies he touched his female employee inappropriately. Carlito gets called a “call center faggot”. The whole gang frustrates white trash motel guests.
Guests: Jin Stewart, Tedwwweb, Dwight, JagTV & Yo Bob (Drunk), Baz, Evil Artie

LA: Las Vegas, CA – 5/23/2015


Carlito and Dwight do a late night show.  Twitter complainers, hotels & Carlito stuck in the elevator again.

Hey It’s Me Again – 5/20/2015


Carlito has all of his nurse papers, wants to know if he gets to use any latex on the job. A tense argument erupts when Carlito calls a hiring manager a Mother Bitch. Carlito wants to know if there are really “dark-dark” black people working at a company. Bill gets a job offer and is creeping on a new office manager on the phone before he even starts his first day on the job. Cross is looking for new truck driving work but is pleading the fifth as to why he just got fired off his previous driving job. Brain synapse problems get in the way of talking to a prospective employer.

As Long As You’re Clean – 5/17/2015

wacoRex is calling ahead looking for chains and bricks while on his way to Waco, TX after the big biker gang fight. Shitting and pissing on the phone while trying to buy stuff. Carlito breaker-checks a gas station then has all dairy sales cancelled due to power loss. Ordering some flamingo for pick up. A confused Japanese tourist is forced to come down to the hotel front desk. Mina is taking an intimate hotel guest survey. Llama is offending a black man selling a pit bull while Baz is offending an Indian man while ordering bahnchod. Guests: Dwight, Neon, Llama & Baz.

The King Of Prank Calls – 5/13/2015


Carlito is the King of All Prank Calls.  Carlito is offering his services (trimming, masturbating & punching miniature horses) to a senior citizen couple.  Later on, his language keeps him from buying a wrecked Ford Escort.  JagTV joins the search for edible garbage at fast food restaurants.

Rub Some Butt – 5/10/2015


Carlito calls on a wedding dress for sale, upsets the seller with his inappropriateness.  Reading negative Yelp reviews to restaurants on Mother’s Day.  Baz and Carlito are looking for horses to eat in in Singapore.  An epic trolling of a Twitter complainer who gets GHF’d.  Lowe’s roulette yields some interesting items for sale.

The Search For Foo – 5/3/2015

Carlito starts off the night bothering people who held yard sales this weekend. Milkman tries to order Foo at the Carl’s Jr. drive-thru. How much sodium carbide in the food? Schooling a shitty cigar shop. Carlito is unable to find a spa that will masturbate his feet, legs and back. The All Seeing Eye of Horus is prank calling an arabic man in his hotel room. Looking for more rooms to share and getting shut out each time.

Are You Still A Whore? – 4/8/2015


Evil Artie shows up after going broke on the poker tour circuit.  Dirty language upsets several people selling items online.  Carlito keeps making people think he is their co-worker drunk dialing in his boxers.  Asking Lowe’s about main machines and licking dark spots.  We burn out another lunk alarm.  Carlito asks a lady in the ghetto if she’s still a whore.

In What Machine You Are? 4/5/2015


We have problems with Del Taco after some suspected lack of washing hands. Matt and Carlito and making their own party bus for Coachella. Having fun with the white guy at the Indian restaurant. Starting fights at the casinos in San Juan, PR.  Guests are Neon, Matt, Gloria, DS, Dwight, Gilmour & Mikethedonnie.

Fucking Globetrotters – 3/18/2015

Harlem-Globetrotters-photoThe Harlem Globetrotters are cheaters and Carlito is complaining about it. Help Wanted calls including: Carlito has a thing for breaking into cars just to sniff the seats. Eddie Croff was caught masturbating at work and is calling to check on his suspension. Eddie Crawl is seriously peeing on the phone. Eddie Craw is looking for CLEAN mobile home windows. Guests are Matt & DS.



How Do You Walk? – 3/15/2015

upside_down_guy7Four orchestra players were arrested for looking into a women’s restroom during a concert.  Carlito is calling hotels in foreign countries asking if they have beds, water & air.  Looking for massage parlours in muslim Malaysia. Guests are Neon, Dwight, Baz & Tedwwweb.





Trolling The Lunk Alarms – 3/8/2015

lunk-alarmWe call Planet Fitnesses to test out their lunk alarms and survey their members with rude questions.  Carlito orders cold ice cream off the online menu.  Jack Masterson is trying to get curbside room service.  Carlito and Dwight speak to yet another angry bahnchod – this one calls us cowards.  An Australian hotel clerk says Carlito can pork his wife.  Harassing a couple about their goats for sale.  An aspiring redneck rapper gets a GHF phone virus.  Dirty Aaron is looking to buy a dog, shares an awkward real-life story & gets Lenny’d.



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