Carlito is back at it with the newspaper, calling employers out on their grammar faux pas, eating lunch while scheduling an interview and hitting on the receptionists. Eventually he just starts screaming and grunting and barking at them over the phone. Vacuum salesmen are putting their sexual organs in the cleaning machines, Carlito places an incestuous floral order and the Mormons don’t want to talk about John Smith ejaculating.
Carlito wants to shave a Korean boy’s head and eat his downy Asian hair. An army specialist wins a new Hyundai. A christian gets upset when we accuse his roommate of living a secular lifestyle. KDK is going to file harassment charges on us.
A short show with a few more calls to companies looking to fill positions. A salesman is saying Eddi’s name incorrectly on purpose. Carlito is inviting receptionists out for lunch. A school vice principal is not willing to break his code of ethics to help Carlito cheat on his Algebra exam.
There’s a heat wave going on, Carlito is calling pensioners in the UK to warn them. Indian men don’t like to wear condoms according to Tedwwweb. There’s no charge for naked sister with your dinner. A male escort has been hired to give a massage and take a shower with a young conventioneer.
Eddie follows up with one of the hiring managers from last week who absolutely remembers him. Carlito uses the Lord’s name in vain when a church refuses to say God Bless You to him. A war vets story sounds a lot like the ending of Rambo II.
Eddie Cross is busting up unions but expects managment to give him a job as payment. We ask if a bookstore has a title in stock called Ughhhh. People in Los Angeles are interested in a free flat screen TV, even if it means transporting drugs across town for Lysol. Carlito needs to know how long it will take for marijuana to get out of his system before his cheek swab pre employment drug test. Agresive sales tactics are frowned upon at a furniture store.
Carlito risks getting on the wrong side of Gypsy black magic. We follow up on the angry freezer calls from last week. Its fun to say kaheka, especially while insulting Iranians.
Carlito is being mean and sneaking in rude comments into all the calls. A redneck selling a freezer gets mad as a result of Carlito’s cursing. Am Indian points out how Carlito was born. A couple and their 2 year old kid are also subjected to Carlito’s wrath.
We call around Guam looking for a dumpster to spend the night in. Carlito is looking for a new dog sitter after his last one made his dog depressed. A Mexican is contemplating offering his sexy wife as a reward for a lost cell phone.
Carlito is sacrificing a random Madhouse fan as punishment on the chat room. An Indian hotel clerk gets into an argument after Carlito wastes his time trying to speak to a guest. Han Solo, Chewie and the gang need help rescuing the princess.
The white devil is making dinner reservations in Guam. Carlito warns a sushi restaurant of the consequences if he gets upset. We catch up with drunk ass Michelle again. A Filipino is interested in an after work rendezvous.
An extremely drunk woman spends an hour yammering and blabbing on the phone with us. Carlito is calling Thailand again, this time he’s looking for Jin. A man is desperate enough for a loan that he might bang his wife while Cross watches. Charlie has a new boy toy answering the phone at the Dew Drop. A guy has been reported by an illegal immigrant for speeding and flashing his genitals in a rented Uhaul track.
Bill Bollocks is calling for an Ikea Swedish meatball soup. Carlito is trying to pickup mustard, Four Loko and girls in Thailand. AMD plays the old Chinese takeaway game. We are alerting the UK that Margaret Thatcher’s casket will be passing by their homes. A gas station has bad gas.
A guy placed an ad trying to recover a pair of lost Blackberrys – Carlito keeps him on the line to his dismay while trying to prank other people on the side. The Fuh returns. Carlito wanta to drill holes in bathroom walla. Jack Masteraon needa help in the Kmart bathroom. Cross and Ken are casting a guy for a part in a movie.
Carlito wants a to pet a young black boy from Grenada to on the head. We connect the Turkish Horse with a different Turkish restaurant in the middle of another one of his Turkish cursing tirades. Cross is inviting himself over for breakfast in the UK.
| MOTHERFUCKERS ARE LISTENING DAMMIT |
