Category: 2012

Put Two and Two Together

Carlito is booking a room at the UK hospital. We’re watching room 1110 on the computer machine and the guest is flushing the toilet way too much. A massage parlor in Guam won’t discuss one handed massages whilst an Australian one offers hand relief right off the top.


Some Indians get upset at Carlito’s usual antics. Cross insults an OK Cupid user and her mother. Drought conditions have forced the UK government to enact emergency powers and grant control of the water machines to the Blue Waffle company.

You Just Barked Up the Wrong Tree

Samantha and Carlito complain after they find fingernails in their food. More hilarious pizza delivery calls. Carlito is defeated in court by the Welsh after several objections.

Accused of Being Un-Patriotic

Milkman is still getting laid. Lexy gave out her parents phone number on Twitter, we call to offer her mom meat and a movie. Carlito and an American flag were disrespected at an Olive Garden. We keep waking up people in the UK and asking them to kiss each other on the phone.

He’s Kissing a Man on the Bed

Milkman gets head from a Bulgarian hooker. We are calling from the bank regarding a horse loan. The man that makes the steaks was rude to Carlito. Wake up calls from the British Office of Time Management and the United Kingdom Decency Association.


Exponential Indian restaurant orders go nowhere. Carlito needs the dimensions of a hotel conference room for a horse conference. Wolf Blitzer is coming to stay in the Iranian for something big. We talk about the history of the prank call game.

Crackers the Shark

Cross is accusing a Cuban ice cream shop of laundering money and not paying on a debt. We want to know if the hotel has a limit on flushing. KDK joins Madhouse for the first time in years for some UK wake up calls. Carlito tricks the angry Asiatics into going to a shock website again.

God Damn Bath Salts God Dammit

Carlito gets high off of God damn bath salts and kicks another God damned car. This time he’s not getting away with scamming the God damned owner God dammit. Uncle Tom wants Carlito to come on down! Honolulu Charlie accepts his victory on the most recent Madhouse poll. Scotland has some new regulations regarding toilet flushing.

Polish Knock-Knock Jokes

A T-Mobile rep is promoting their new safety feature: an alarm that goes off when colored people enter their stores. Carlito wants to train racist horses and dogs. A Pole falls for the oldest Polak joke in the book. A man is irate when asked to apologize for being rude to UK Ted.


Indians are getting all upset at Carlito again. Jack Masterson returns and he becomes demonically posessed when he is refused a garbage bag filled with FRENCH FRIES. Carlito wants to take suggestive photos at Ikea before purchasing an iPhone machine. More of them crazy UK wake up calls.

Pray to the Dragon

A lawyer gets involved when Jose threatens to charge a daily $50 late fee on photos that haven’t been paid for. Carlito explains how the martial arts teaches students to pray to the dragon and the devil for magical powers. We are calling the UK and Scotland to say hi. An Xbox gamer gets upset when accused of piracy.

Milkman is not Black

Calls to Indian restaurants go nowhere. A Chicago drug dealer is going to fuck Carlito up. Ted is ordering Italian food from 7-11. It is British custom to genuflect for the King and offer your naked bottom to him if he wishes.

Madhouse Meatspin Radio

We catch up with the Angry Asiatic Black Men again…for almost an hour. We also catch up with Romeo from the Macaroni Grill. Carlito had his phone number stolen from him. The National Train Administration is invoking imminent domain in the UK to build a new high speed train.

I’m With The Pizza

RBCP social engineers some data and Carlito pranks people waiting on pizza deliveries. In the process we shock customer with the introduction of hotel fees, high risk delivery deposits and requests for insurance information. Some Olympics related UK wake up calls.

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